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Monday, March 26, 2012

Growling at the Window

My dog Cleo is amazing.


Besides the fact that she's cute and funny and so much fun to play with, my favorite part about her is that she doesn't bark. I hate barking with a passion. It is one of the most annoying things in the world to have a dog that explodes with rage every time a leaf blows, or a car horn goes off.  So the fact that Cleo is practically mute is magical to me.

No, I'm serious.  In the 9 months she's been alive, I think we've heard her bark a whopping total of 10 times.

The first time she barked was hilarious. She was about 3 months old and let out this whimpery little explosion. (Imagine what it would sound like if a baby goat tried to bark).  She scared herself more than anything with that, looking around the room, and at us.  "What the hell was that?"

Now the main time she barks is when we lock her up in the bathroom when we go to work.  She really hates being left alone.  And while we don't blame her, we keep explaining every morning that if she wants to keep up her addiction to dog food and toys, we have to go to work.  But even that barking is few and far between. Most of the time we just get the pathetic "You're so mean to leave me here when all I want to do is love you" look.

So last night Ryan and I are in bed, light just went out, ready to fall asleep. Cleo is on the floor by the sliding glass door to our balcony. She likes to poke her nose through the curtains and let in the evil light.  I am a vampire and hate light of any kind while I sleep.  She knows this and specifically opens the curtains so the glare from the streetlight slips across my pillow and torments me.  Anyway, I'm not bitter about this or anything.  Well last night, just as we're about to fall asleep, Cleo starts growling, then barks several times! Ryan and I both sat up immediately.  This dog doesn't growl.  She doesn't have an aggressive bone in her body.  When other dogs or cats or scary people are around, she immediately rolls onto her back exposes her soft underbelly and whimpers in fear.

If my submissive dog is growling that means danger is coming. Ninjas are crawling over the roof.  Samurais drawn, ready to reek havoc on our house. Surely that is the only explanation!

Or maybe my dog is just crazy and decided she's angry the door was closed.  Who knows?

Actually I'm pretty sure that if ninjas attacked, Cleo would wait for them to kill us and then jump up begging to be played with now that all the carnage is over.

Oh, and on a side note, I got a full request!  At the same time as my 4th rejection!  Woot Woot!


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